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Old 05-24-2010, 08:24 AM
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rolypoly rolypoly is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 350

Yes you did get that right and I really think you hit the nail on the head with this one. Please elaborate and tell me more if you can.
I'm not sure what more I can say about it. I just remember this being something I felt when I was in my teens. I couldn't control who my boyfriend was with before me, but now that he'd met me, I should be so special that no one else compares.

I never even heard of poly until my gf. She was raised in a poly home so its totally natural for her, and Im still learning. But I do like the idea of being able to look for a bf while I have a gf. I cant ask her to be something that shes not (mono), and I dont want to loose her because of it.
You're saying 2 different things here. One, that the idea interests you because you could have a boyfriend. But, it also sounds like you don't see yourself having a choice because you can't change her. I think it's wise to know that you can't change another person. I just want to remind you to be true to yourself.

I can totally see myself being more comfortable and accepting if I were more intimate with someone else, cuz its like I dont know until I try it. but like I said before, I feel guilty when I start to be intimate with someone other than my gf. I dont know if I should ask her to wait for me to do that cuz idk how long that will take and it doesnt seem fair to me.
I think it's absolutely fair, reasonable and necessary to take as much time as you need to try it out. When poly was first introduced to me, I was very adamant that I couldn't do it. I had never self-identified as someone who "cheated" (I have never cheated in my life) and didn't have a point of reference for poly in my life in a way that felt good, so I outright rejected it at first.

I felt guilty at first too. It took me a while to slowly, step by step, warm up to it to the point where I realized that actually, I have been this way my whole life. It still takes a bit of work for me to be able to be affectionate with someone in front of someone else I care about because I worry I'm hurting the person.

Take your time.
My heart is too big to fit into one person.
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