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Old 05-24-2010, 06:34 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by ksandra View Post
These restrictions are driving me crazy. Every time I try to address them with T he flings back past fights from earlier in our relationship and it turns into a huge fight with him storming out of the room.
Rightfully so. It's not fair for anyone to tell someone else how they have to live their life. It's one thing for a partner to say "I have such-and-such needs within our relationship" but another thing entirely to say "I have such-and-such needs regarding your relationships with others."

"Storming out of the room" is appropriate. If you're 16. Ditto for bringing up past fights. Fights are bad enough in the moment without using them as ammunition in future fights.

Saying "I need some time to think about this" and then going off by yourself is the mature way to leave a fight.

The worst thing in all of this is that your boyfriend is following a double-standard. If taken to task, he would probably begrudgedly agree to follow the same superficial rules, if only so as not to seem like a total jerk. But I suspect he would feel just as restricted and controlled as you do, and harbour resentment for it.

Sorry, I'm completely devoid of advice right now, but the aforementioned threads have said everything that can be said about the matter of relationship restrictions, so I'll just leave it at my $0.02 about your boyfriend's behaviour.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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