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Old 05-24-2010, 03:04 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
For the record, I don't believe that things have to be equal, if both parties see why and agree to it, but in this case you are not happy with it and don't understand the reasons why, so they seem arbitrary to you, and this needs to be addressed before resentment builds too far.
100% agree. Rules don't have to be equal, however they have to be agreed on. If not agreed on then there has to be room to renogotiate.

The funny thing is that T has two people he sees outside of me and none of these restrictions at all on him. He says they're in place to make sure he stays the primary and so that no one threatens his position but it feels like he's sabotaging himself a bit. Any words of advice would be helpful. Is this rational when we're just starting out? How is a good way to calmly address these?
You may want to do this in a letter. It removes the emotion and makes it clear and concise. You could get really formal and create a section for rules, with the ability to renogotiate.

On another forum I am on they have a required meeting once every month to review rules with all parties involved. This is overly complex but we are talking a working family of 5 people. That just gives you an idea of some of the "contract" work involved.
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