People can change their minds, maybe those feelings were feeling she was feeling. Maybe she was showing you guys the love she felt because of how much you were supporting her. Maybe she liked the idea and became uncomfortable?...she may well have never been able to describe how she felt when you first told her your feelings because she didn't know. Thats not a lack of honesty. There is a time to process something like this.
who knows, shit happens. My story reads very similar to yours in a lot of ways. A couple of specific things that red flag for me
Anyways a side from all that she helped us in other ways she would help with the kids and the house and so on. Anyways so I would go shopping and she would tag along with me it was nice. But we would get her all kinds of things she wanted clothes, shirts,skirts, bras,underwear, free gas, and cigs, and so on. We spent alot of money on her and never expected anything in return except for honesty.
Really, it sounds like you did build expectations. The usual nice guy/girl curse. Doing all the right things, helping all the right ways, showing friendship....when things don't go the way you hope you find yourself having negative reactions. Sorry if that truly isnt true, but it comes across a bit.
Vandalin is very right. I have female friends that are extremely flirty, however there is no sex involved. Touching, snuggling etc. Our ex is still very touchy with Pengrah...however the understanding of friendship only is accepted now.
In the end, continue loving her and who knows, maybe she will come to love you back, as more than friends. Just leave yourself open to it. Best of luck in your search and your healing.