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Old 05-24-2010, 02:41 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,186

Originally Posted by ksandra View Post
Is this rational when we're just starting out?
In my opinion, it's not rational at any time.

How is a good way to calmly address these?
If it's not working for you, then you simply say "This isn't working for me. This is why: ...."

Then you finish with: "I'd really like to find a way that this relationship can work for me. Are you willing to work something out that works for us both?"

If he does anything that involves refusing to help figure out how to make it work for both of you--flat out refusal, leaves the room, tries to change the subject in any way, whatever--then you know he's not interested in a relationship that works for you.

That's when I say it's time to leave.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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