Originally Posted by vandalin
Yeah, big ouch there. I kinda know what you are feeling. I had a similar experience with Elric and after almost a year of trying to figure things out, we are now, finally, very good friends.
The hardest part for me was putting a stop to the wishing. Wishing he'd email, wishing he'd call, wishing for more. When we finally got to sit down (online) and discuss things, a lot of what was said ended up being the "that's what I meant to say, I'm sorry if it didn't come out that way" type of thing. Basically a miss-communication.
I do have a question or two for you though. You said that you and the hubby told your friend how you two felt, but you didn't tell us her response to your declaration, only the after effects. Another question, is she really bi or is she just comfortable being semi-physical with her female friends?
Personally, I have friends to whom I say "I love you" all the time, that doesn't mean that I want anything more than a platonic friendship or that I find them sexually attractive.
I do wish you luck on your search and especially on getting through your feelings for this other gal. You are unfortunately in a group of searchers called Unicorn Hunters, and that is a very difficult group to find success in. If you don't know about Unicorns, do a search on the forums and you will find a plethora of information.
Ok so all the times we spent the weekends together she had been kissing on me rubbing in between my legs and so on she had never really done more than let him rub her leg. I had told her previously before that my other half, he had feelings for her. Her response was she didnt want to ruin our friend ship. After telling her that He had told her over the phone how we both felt and she was pretty much floored when she found out i felt the same way as he did. She continued on to do the same things that had been happening up until we caught in a few lies.
So pretty much she just kept telling us she loved us kissing her finger then kissing his. And so on little things like that, she lead us to believe she wanted the same things and then just pretty much stop coming around when we ask her what she wanted and just said she wanted friends we told her we needed time to separate feelings. Alot harder than I ever thought it would be but she seems to be doing ok. so I guess thats what counts.