View Single Post
Old 05-23-2010, 09:04 PM
CielDuMatin's Avatar
CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,456

Limitations or restrictions should be agreed-upon and accepted by both parties. It sounds like you don't accept the ones that are being put in place against your will. You are voicing a lot of valid concerns, here. I really do suggest that you arrange a time and place to sit down with T and discuss this without him storming off.

Anything like this needs to absolutely be with the understanding of both groups - you need to understand specifically why each of these restrictions are in place and agree to them. I would suggest that because they don't go both ways and you are not happy, then some discussion of fairness and equality might be appropriate.

For the record, I don't believe that things have to be equal, if both parties see why and agree to it, but in this case you are not happy with it and don't understand the reasons why, so they seem arbitrary to you, and this needs to be addressed before resentment builds too far.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
Reply With Quote