Were we stand at this point.....
We to also just got involved with this. We have been together 5 years! I have two other children almost 7 and 9 years old and then together him and I have two ! almost three and 7 months. I have/had a best friend and we were both very attracted to her and drinking with her a few times a few things happened with her and I. My other half grew to get to know her and developed feelings for her as well. I have known her a little over a year.
Anyways her and I worked together we would go tanning together almost every morning. I paid for her of coarse and at the time I never minded at all. Aside from that we would go get something to eat after wards I would pay. Mind you she doesnt have a job.She had recently lost her job. Anyways a side from all that she helped us in other ways she would help with the kids and the house and so on. Anyways so I would go shopping and she would tag along with me it was nice. But we would get her all kinds of things she wanted clothes, shirts,skirts, bras,underwear, free gas, and cigs, and so on. We spent alot of money on her and never expected anything in return except for honesty.
You know when your around someone for almost 3 straight months you know how they act there is almost a routine developed and that was for sure the case. She was calling me to see if I was free every day at the same time when I would get off work. After awhile it became an every day thing. We would drink every Saturday night. We were learning new things about her everyday as well things other people she knows she would not tell them. We both were falling in love with her it would get to a point were she was telling us both she loved us before she would leave to go home. After awhile she would touch feet with us and never have a problem with it.
My other half and I decided together it was time to come out with exactly how we feel but we wanted to do it sober with out any alcohol. So she was well aware of how we felt for some time and things kind of just kept going on the way they were, Then eventually she would come over and it was like almost use us and then she would leave earlier and earlier every day. She told us one night she didnt feel good and was going to go home and go to bed her not living very far I just felt like I was being lied to and used so I went to check. She was not home she went out. I knew it. We were hurt so badly.
The next day she was confronted with it and and said she was went for a drive to clear her head we dont by it but we give her the benefit of the doubt. Every thing goes on for a bit longer and finally she stops coming over as much she knows how we feel and leads us to believe she wants the same thing but will sit there on line throwing it in our faces that she is talking to another guy. Us being ok with her talking to who ever again all we wanted was honesty. And we were not getting that at all. We were willing to except things about her no one else would. Or atleast she thinks they wouldnt. I dont know.I know this week has been the hardest week of our lives. She came over we all sat down to talk about everything and all she could say was that she loved us as best friends. Thats all she wanted.
Well if that was all she wanted then why would she do the things she did. Why would she rub on me and on my guy and then tell us she loves us all the time. It was almost for awhile like she wanted it but was afraid of it being excepted and then maybe we thought it was just that she wanted my guy and she didnt want me, but she would always get a hold of me. I had told her plenty of times I want them to touch and be comfortable with each other. Now after the conversation though we havent seen her in a couple days. She hasnt gotten a hold of me or anything and this is after her getting a hold of me on a daily basis for over a year.
I found myself becoming jealous. And I really wasnt sure of what. I thought about it and realized if everyone would have just been open and honest it would have never been like that and it wasnt me and my guy who wasnt being honest. She knew how I felt cause I had told her and she knew how my guy felt cause he had told her we just didnt know how she felt flat out and we had never come out with all our feeling in front of each other until that day. It just bothers me alot. She could of had so much we all could have. And now I feel like I either lost my best friend or she was never my best friend to begin with. Maybe I dont really know what thats like.I know my guy is my best friend though I know that with out a doubt. I share everything with him even if I know it is going to disappoint him. Because I love him.
To me it is so much more than a sex thing it is about sharing our love with another female and having her give her love back. It is about being there for each other helping each other out and that one more set of hands. It is about being open minded open hearted honest caring and compassionate and empathetic for another s feelings as well as yours and your spouses. The thing about her is I have never felt so comfortable around another female in my life. we had so much in common and we so much alike in different ways, I loved her. Who am I kidding we both still do love her when it comes down to it. I let myself become vulnerable. I let my guard down and left my heart open.
Let me tell you she had a boyfriend and he was not the greatest to her, She came to me so many times before all of this and told me she wanted to leave him. Through all of this she was away from him and I am sure now that is where she has gone back to. That hurts. I dont want we dont want to see her get hurt like that, But if she doesn't want to help her self there is nothing more I can do for her. I am trying to learn to let go and it is alot easier said than done. It is also alot easier said than done to find another person. Someone who meets your standards because I have very high standards. I keep hoping and dreaming she will change her mind and she will walk through our door but I am only kidding myself. I am sure I have left out alot of details. But that is some what were we stand at this point.
Last edited by DOUBLExTROUBLE; 05-23-2010 at 10:22 PM.