Originally Posted by CielDuMatin
Yes, we have stopped using the term "speed of the slowest" - nobody wants to be thought of as "the slow one".
"Go at the speed that everyone is comfortable" is the what we use now.
Hmm. I am not always comfortable though when we are "going at the speed of the one that is struggling the most." I stay uncomfortable with the expectation that they are working on letting me know what would be more comfortable, or working through the feelings they have. This concept comes with the expectation that my partner is working on things and not thinking its all just disappearing. All this takes time and patience on everyones part. The end result is to find comfort for all. A balance of comfort really. Some times patience is hard to come by.
Some things Mono and I are working on have been a work in progress for over a year! But we are slowly reaching comfort and that is an accomplishment I am proud of.