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Old 05-21-2010, 08:20 PM
Anne Anne is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 12

Hey you all,

I think getting ones needs met is an important part of any relationship. The difference to selfish behavior is the result: Is everyone happier or less happy after talking about those needs?

For example, if I tell my partner: "Im feeling weak at the moment and I would like to spent more time with you together at home, to reload my battery", and he and I find an agreement we both feel fine with, at the end we are both happier: Me because I have my needs met, and my partner because he feels that I trust in him and we can talk things through together. Furthermore, he has a happier partner.

But if Im jealous its a thought like: "Youre happy, and youre not happy with me. This makes me unhappy. Change it" This "Change it" means: Stop being happy with the other person, leading to less happiness for all.

For me, compersion also is a process, something Im learning. I still have feelings like in my second example, and I need a lot of thinking and reflecting to deal with it. But if I really do feel compersion, I notice how it enlightens my heart, so I think its really worth the effort!

Best wishes
* Every new love enlarges the heart *
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