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Old 05-21-2010, 07:39 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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resolving is quite different. For me it's a matter of picking them apart and moving bits to the side to find the core of what it is I am feeling. Once I have done that I can look at what I have moved.

I do this by endlessly talking about my experience. I do that when I try to understand anything that makes me uncomfortable, from understanding people to understanding myself. I talk about it constantly until it loses it's power when a shift occurs or a new piece of information is added. I chose people in my life who are willing to listen and ask questions...

unfortunately this can be seen as gossiping and people tend to stear away from it. I don't see it as such, gossip is with the intent to harm, talking about another, or about an issue with the intent to learn about them or what is going on is different. It's about moving forward with the new capacity to be empathetic and caring.

I think thinking negatively about what we and others say about each other and ourselves is very entwined in what we have been taught and people tend to just "not say a word" for fear of it being seen in a negative way. I tend to feel uncomfortable with this in my life and chose not to include people who are more interested in not saying anything rather than making themselves vulnerable by saying everything...

If you are able to lose that and walk through everything you feel, comfortable or uncomfortable, then I think you might find that the emotions are not as strong and have space around them. They don't overwhelm as much or for as long that way. At least that is what I have found.
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