Okay... how did I get to this point of suddenly finding myself in a polyamorous relationship? Hmmmm... where to begin... I suppose the beginning.
I am now 40 years old, but when I was 17 I met the most amazingly beautiful person I have ever seen on this planet in my lifetime. We fell madly in love instantly and on our first date I asked her to marry me. Crazy eh? Well 23 years later I am just as in love with her... but something happened back then... crazy things that, after just a few short months, led us apart for 20 years. During that time I got married to someone else and lived in a miserable relationship. Pretty much miserable from early on and I unfortunately made the mistake of getting married to her. I have learned from that experience that some people are just miserable and you can't do anything to make them happy no matter how hard you try. Believe me I really tried. Needless to say after years of trying it eventually crumbled. I remember talking to my father and telling him that I had to get out. We'd been in marriage counseling, twice actually, and I realized the thing I needed to learn from that was that there was no future in that relationship, and that it was okay. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. My father brought up that girl from years before and I told him how stupid I was and he told me that I should try to find out what happened to her because he really thought we would get married. It was the last thing my father and I talked about. My father came down with pneumonia the next day and I never talked to him again. After a few weeks in the hospital he died. I was sad, but incredibly grateful. I was grateful for the 11 years I had in my adult life to make amends with my father as we had a strained relationship during my childhood. He had battled serious alcoholism but had overcome it. He believed that anyone could make amends and was really good at forgiveness. His tombstone reads "His greatest joy in life was helping others." That's why I'm writing this. So that maybe someone will find some help from my story.
For 9 months after my father died I practiced daily gratitude and strange things started to happen. I won't go into too much detail... but it was magical... things just started to all fall into place... total synchronicity... and it led me all the way up to finding that woman who I had fallen madly in love with when I was 17. It was amazing. I didn't know what to think... but I just had to tell her that I had loved her ever since we were kids. I never wavered... my love for her was as pure and as endless as love could be. I didn't expect anything back from her. I just wanted to tell her that. Turns out, she loved me too, and never forgot me, and a year later we were married. Beautiful love story, no?