Originally Posted by Kiin
Today she told him that it would not work and was over because she "wouldn't want him to tell me what they did or talked about". I never asked to know anything that is specifically related to just her, only what they did together and his feelings. Apparently she has been in poly relationships successfully in the past. I feel like this is my fault, though my husband has told me that it is not and they are her issues. I guess my question is....was I asking to know too much?
Hubby's right, they are HER issues. I ask Breathes what he did on his dates (although we don't call them dates). He gives me a rough draft & if I want anything in particular to be explained in more detail I ask. He doesn't have a problem with this. I offer him the same thing in return when I have my 'dates'--the rough draft and when he wants more detail on something he asks.
For example: last week Possibility was more amorous than usual. I told Breathes this and he asked exactly how he was more amorous and I told him. What didn't help the situation was the fact that I wasn't able to tell him right away after the date. In fact I wasn't able to talk to him about it until the next night so he had a full 24 hours to wonder what went on!
DADT relationships feel dishonest to me somehow. It feels as though the primary partner is getting the short shrift so I tend to not go there.
It sounds like you are doing things in a way that works for you. HOORAY!