Originally Posted by DD123
So my gf has been going out on dates at a goth club with this girl (S) I havent met.
Perhaps you should meet?
When Pru (my "primary" to use the lingo) started dating her boyfriend, I asked to meet him. Long story short, it helped me frame why she was in love with him, and thus helped me understand my feelings.
It was not that he was better than me, but different. One of the beauties in my mind about polyamory is the ability to find those who resonate with those areas of your personality/soul/character that are unfulfilled in a monogamous relationship.
I therefore feel special as I understand why Pru loves me, and her boyfriend (and ultimately his wife now her girlfriend, but that's a whole other story...LOL!).
I hope this helps.