Hi and welcome Sue,
Idealist and RP have pointed to a couple important things.
We have to be careful of letting (co) dependency slip into our relationships. It's very natural when you are feeling really close to someone to want them to be center of your universe - and vic versa. But this is a dangerous thing in the long run and we have to be on guard for it all the time.
It's far more healthy in the long run to capture those special moments when they present themselves. We can't force them anyway. They come when it's proper - when conditions are 'just-so'.
Being actively engaged in our own self development, and being happy being with ourselves is so important. We can't be defining ourselves based on someone elses participation - or lack of.