Thanks for the replies all. They have given me some food for thought.
It sounds like my "Elric" is similar in idea to you Mono as one of his main objections for starting a relationship with me has been that he was afraid of causing trouble in "Cajun" and my marriage. That "Cajun" told me to ask him on a date is probably the biggest reason, if not the only reason, he accepted. "Elric" seems to have compersion to the point of being happy for me in my marriage, but is still caught up in the conditioning that he is not allowed to share or be a part of my happiness...but only time will tell if it is conditioning or nature...I hope it's not nature, that would be so depressing.
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.