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Old 07-21-2009, 10:07 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 293
Default another update

Hello everyone - I hope you are all doing well!
I have another update regarding the relationship this post is about.
After the conversation I had with him, I decided that I simply was not going to put up with a "friends with benefits" situation, and I decided that I would not contact him again. This is how I find it is easiest for me to regain some connection with how my life was before, and it allows me to heal and move on.

Well, what happened was he called me and asked to talk. I guess he felt that he did have feelings for me after all and was actually willing to commit to a relationship with me. I decided to take him back, so to speak. However - he is on a trial probation! I won't tell him this because I need for him to follow through on several ACTIONS that will prove to me that he is serious and that he is expressing more than just words.

Things on this list include: Taking me out on a real date, changing the status on his dating profile, following through with actual plans in the future, showing affection freely, staying honest with me, refraining from entering into relationships with other women for the period of time we discuss (discussion still to come), and generally treating me with respect and kindness.
Some of these things have happened, some I have yet to see... although time will tell for sure.

I am very proud of myself for listening to my gut and for defining and sticking with the boundaries I created for myself in relationships.

I am all for taking things slowly - which is why we have not yet had a "down to business" discussion about our currently exclusive relationship and the future of poly in our lives.

To be honest, this shook me up, and I need to reestablish trust and comfort in him and us before I can move forward again. I guess you could say that we are taking 1 step forward, 2 steps back as far as poly goes at the moment. I really need the foundation of trust and respect that can only be proven through action and time. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly! The truth is I really look forward to these adventures with him!

Just thought I would fill you in on what is going on now.

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