Hi! male mono here. my gf is poly and we are both bisexual. We've been going out for a while now and up until a little over a month ago its been just us (I posted a thread at that time).
I get poly on a mental level but im still trying to grasp it emotionally. Ive read the ethical slut and everything on xeromag.
So my gf has been going out on dates at a goth club with this girl (S) I havent met. to my knowledge they havent had sex yet. my gf says she wants to go to the goth club with me but every time I want to go-she doesnt want to go(the under-age goth club is only once a week).
This past weekend she had sex with her female roommate (L). Ive met L and known her as long as ive known my gf, they have had sex before we started going out, I dont feel threatened by L. Because of these factors its easier for me to say ok thats cool and the whole compersion thing.
My friend said that maybe I feel more threatened by S because I havent met her. I dont know if I want to meet her, cuz isnt ignorance bliss?
Back to my title: I want to be special! If Im not the only one shes sleeping with, I dont feel special. If she goes to the club every other week with someone thats not me, I dont feel special. If the only things we do is normal things like go for walks, make dinner, and watch tv, I dont feel special. We used to play guitar together but she hasnt picked up her guitar in a month, shes just not interested in it like she used to and im starting to feel as if shes not interested in me like she used to be-even though she says its not that.
Sorry but I have to say this: I get the compersion thing but I kinda feel like its BS. Yes I can be happy that shes happy, but I cant JUST be happy cuz shes happy, I want my cake and eat it too. I need to be happy too and if Im just happy for her i think thats some kind of codependency thing going on.
Thank you for reading and your feedback