Thread: Depressed mono
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Old 05-18-2010, 02:00 PM
Quath Quath is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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I remember when I first started dating. One of the things that bothered me was that I was a virgin until I was with my girlfriend (I was 17 at the time). However, she was not a virgin. I had some very strong emotions about it at the time. But I also knew that it didn't make logical sense. There were some close calls that could have led to sex before I met her. But I would not want her to feel as I did if the situation were reversed.

Basically, I tried to see it from as many angles as I could. That helped my emotions and logic match back up.

In a sense, you can see the logical side, but you still feel less special due to it. One way to think about it is to realize that sex with you and her is not the same as sex with other people. There will be a special bond that is not duplicated with anyone else.

Something else that may help is to try to develop compersion. That was something I never heard of before I got into polyamory. I had to really think about the concept and what it really means. I think it is a very interesting emotion that can be called on.
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