Thread: Depressed mono
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Old 05-18-2010, 01:33 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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I think kicking and screaming was me, I think...it was a description about how I described my...understanding of compersion. and ps, I still don't have it down. Mine was very very different than yours, I am the newly poly person who fell in love with someone who will never and can never return it. The whole idea baffles her. I had to find joy in her happiness knowing I can never be truly part of it...understand it wasn't about me, and in the end be her friend...

I had a stable loving relationship before, during and after with my wife. In fact I know, my friend (the woman I fell in love with) cares for me more than the average friend, includes me in her life...but will never take it to the level of true intimacy or love...

anyways, you have processed everything logically. I have two points

Here comes the kicker, and think back to when you were a teenager...you have a craptastic amount of emotion to process...I am the most logical person you would meet, but this amount of emotion involed in multiple relationships might take time, lots of time...AND experience to work through. Poly, as I have started to read and experience, requires some experience, time and energy...

Point 2...its a simpler more concise point...you may not be poly. you may not be able to process poly, you may not be able to accept poly. *You* need to figure that out for yourself. Don't jump on this point, of course, but understand you might not be wired to fully understand it, you may just have to learn to either accept it in your partner, or decide something else for your self.

There are a few monogamous people on here that are with newly discovered polyamorous people. Continue reading and posting your concerns and they will likely respond.

Just understand one last point, this has nothing to do with you. I mean that with the utmost respect. It has nothing to do with how she feels for you, for what you do or how you do it. Your partner is poly, finds love in multiple people and will continue to do so. Your gf will not suddenly find that one person who completes her...you are part of her life...

Thank you for opening up here and I hope you find the solace you are looking for
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