I get that rainking-
but would you not be concerned if she popped up with a boyfriend anyway?
All of those intricacies you mention in regards to this poly relationship you have-those things are necessary in mono relationships too-and too often they are overlooked (see our high rate of divorce).
I worry that no man will be good enough for my daughter-much less 2 or more. I honestly don't worry about women-because she's made it clear that she's not bi or gay-and we're open that I am bi and her best friend is openly gay.
BUT I would if she were.
I too was raised in a religious home-as was my lover. We went to church 3 times a week at minimum. My parents were the youth leaders. It was a STRICT family dynamic.
BUT-when I told my dad I was getting married he was VERY concerned-JUST because I'm his child. When I later told him we were poly and I had a boyfriend-he wasn't worried. Because by that time the bf had been around for 16 years and he knew him to be an upstanding if sometimes too gentle soul.
BUT if I had told him I had two significant others that he didn't know-he would have been no more or less concerned than when I told him I was marrying Maca.
Does this help you see where I was coming from?
GOOD LUCK anyway!! I know you are worried and rightfully so!! I do hope the discussion has been helping you in your consideration.