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Old 05-17-2010, 11:01 PM
jkelly jkelly is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 168

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Welcome to the forum jkelly, I think it's great that you have made some valid points in your post but would wonder if perhaps these above statements would not be seen as agiest them self and also marginalizing.

Just a thought.
Thanks for the welcome.

Having grown up in a culture that has some weird ideas about age (and a lot of other things), it's pretty likely that I fall into lazy thinking and have weird preconceptions that I'm not aware of.

I am wondering what your intent is in regard to your questions? It's hard to answer them without feeling defensive and that there isn't a finger being pointed by you.
The questions were my trying to illuminate what I read as marginalising statements. They certainly weren't an attempt to avoid making anybody feel defensive! When I feel defensive when reading about someone discussing their marginalisation, I take that as a sign that I'm having my privilege challenged, and try to work on figuring out where my issue is. So defensiveness is a good sign!

could you suggest some ideas on how to address the issues here without pointing a finger back and forth? Perhaps in such a way as to create communication out of interest and intent to understand one another?
I suspect that being strongly supportive of youth in community organising and leadership would be helpful.

I also think that it would be helpful if, when the topic is raised, those members of the community who are not young point out any marginalising behaviour from others in their age group. Given that they are likely to have more authority, it will be easier for them to be heard over the defensiveness.

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
I'll tell you why young people aren't as marginalized as they think they are (and I'm 39. some people would consider that "young" as well... EVERYone was young at some point. EVERYone went through the "discrimination" of not being allowed to drive or not being allowed to buy alcoholic beverages.
So your response to someone who is feeling marginalised due to their age is to tell them to not worry about it, because they'll just grow out of it?

I'm not sure why you're using scare quotes there with "discrimination", but I also don't see what its relevance is to being marginalised within the poly- community, which was the topic under discussion.

But you have to understand, that the cultural programming of western society DOES place youth on a pedestal, NOT the other way around.
I suspect that if you think about it, youth is not privileged when it comes to making their voices heard, or being taken as authorities at discussion groups or workshops, or when doing community organising, which is what we were discussing (specifically TNG groups and e-mail lists).

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Is this old thread reopened ?

Rkelly - do you have concerns you'd like to express or was your post just intended to weigh in with your opinion ?

I think in general - and any/everyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong - that this discussion ended on a note that while any particular 'individual' might feel something less than embraced by any particular preexisting group of any type, that 'in general' (overall) folks attempting to successfully live a poly lifestyle were far from 'ageist' - maybe even quite the contrary.
My username is Jkelly. R. Kelly is an American R&B artist with some unsavoury connotations when it comes to the topic of youth.

I understand that any concerns you may have had about the marginalisation of youth have been addressed to your satisfaction and "maybe even" beyond.
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