Its true, you say you are and have been up front about this new relationship, and that is commendable. What I am referring to is where you started this journey. It seems to be where his lack of mistrust of you comes from. That and it sounds like you just told him you were dating someone else rather than talking with him about opening your relationship. Also the fact that you told him you were "just going out with so and so" is not telling him the whole truth.
I heard you when you said that you were not communcating and drifted apart, but I am wondering what his story is on that? That doesn't just happen.
Look, you seem to have a lot of support on this thread for the misery you have gone through. That's great, I feel for you too, but there are two sides to why people drift apart and I see some holes in the story and wonder about them is all.
Good luck. I suggest you have a good read around and elsewhere if you haven't already. I think you may find that honesty and openess are generally seen as the best ways to successful poly lifestyles. Not just in communicating but in how we live overall. As is empathy for our partners.
Why I am defending this guy I have no idea. I really have no invested interest or reason. I just think some kind of advocate on his behalf is needed as he sounds in a really desperate situation. I feel for him as much as I do for you.
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