Originally Posted by cori
Im not expecting my relationship to be healthy because i am with someone else.
You miss my point. Moving onto a secondary relationship while the primary is not working is asking for some problems. Thats all. Sorry if I wasnt clear, that happens sometimes
I just want to work out how to have this new relationship which is important to me, and not to hurt him too much in the process. Its a very difficult situation, and id wondered if anyone else managed this.
If he doesn't want to open up
if he doesn't want to communicate
If he doesn't want counselling
if he doesn't want to work on the relationship (monogamous or otherwise)
If you REALLY can't leave
Than I believe you are running into a big ole wall. I would say he is holding you emotionally hostage to be honest. You can't do what you are trying to do without hurting him. Have you tried getting him to read any of the information about being in an open relationship.
Opening Up (very polyscentric)
Ethical Slut (about open relationships in general)
Maybe he is a quiet introspective guy that needs to figure this out on his own...hopefully getting him to read on it will help.