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Old 07-21-2009, 05:58 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

I recently spoke with someone who stated they have never felt intimate jealousy of another partner's relationships. At first I thought, "wow! Sign me up for that!" Can you imagine never feeling jealous and just being able to watch someone you love enjoy other loves without any feeling besides happiness? Could it get any better?! Maybe not..but it could get worse.

Imagine being with a partner who couldn't understand you're feelings because they had never experienced them. Imagine trying to communicate a very real concern that affects your reality to someone who can only approach it from the description of a feeling in a book. Imagine how hard it would be for them to rationalize how anything they did could affect you so intensely. You can't truly understand an emotion until you experience it.

It is like going to a funeral and saying "I know how you feel" to the widow without ever having lost your spouse. You wouldn't really know what they are feeling. You could feel bad for them, but you wouldn't be able to feel like them.

If you are a person who has felt jealousy be thankful. Now you can truly say "I know how you feel" and govern your actions based on your own experiences.

Compersion is's even harder to explain than jealousy because it goes against so much of our conditioning and in some cases our nature.

Mine is derived from my traditional programming to respect primary relationships such as marriage. That is why it was total and immediate for me towards her relationship with her husband. That is why it is solid but less complete towards her secondary who has a long standing relationship with both of them on a less frequent and integrated level, and that is why it is currently unfathomable when considering the idea of her bringing another intimate man into our lives.

Why would I have compersion for the inclusion of a woman into our lives?..because I understand that no number of men can give the uniqueness that a woman can provide both physically and in the associated energy.

There is no magic bullet for compersion...everyone must find their own way to achieve it.

Best of luck and lots of love to everyone

Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 07-21-2009 at 06:34 AM.
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