Originally Posted by cori
I told my husband about this relationship early on, he is still having a lot of difficulty accepting it. Despite the fact that we have had no intimate relationship in almost 2 years he still sees it as cheating. I know he is hurting still, but i dont know what I can do help him with that. I really value my new relationship, i feel ive come out of the closet with my thoughts feelings and sexuality. I cant let that go.
What else can I do to help my husband.?
I know im still hurting him, but i have to be true to myself.
Have you tried to work through why your husband has disconnected with you? Sought counselling? Maybe he was distancing himself for a reason.
Also, he may still value his relationship with you, but not need sex. By going to someone else for sex and loving you may just be rubbing salt in a wound you don't know about.
Usually the rule of thumb is to not to involve a poly relationship until the other relationships involved are healthy. Yours, with your husband, is not healthy. It wasn't healthy before poly and won't be because of poly.
Poly, imo, isn't about finding other people to fill those huge gaps your other partners don't fill...I don't love other people because my wife doesn't do it for me anymore...I love other people because I love other people. Period.