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Old 05-17-2010, 01:16 PM
cori cori is offline
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 4
Default Happy with new relationship-domestic hell

I am new to Polyamourous relationships, but Im very confused
I have been married for 14 years , we have two children. I had been unhappy in our marriage and in myself for a long time. I had tried to talk to my husband about my issues but our communication has been pretty poor which i suppose has lead to relationship breakdown. About two years ago I started chatting online and got to know various people. I finally admitted to myself that my relationship was not working and I was amazed that i could communicate openly with new people and get the responses i needed. My confidence grew and i started to explore the possibility of finding a new relationship. At the same time I still cared for my husband and he is a good dad, the possibility of seperation seemed inconcievable due to our finacial situation. We stopped having sex about 18 months ago , moved into seperate rooms etc. He seemed to accept this and did not try an alter things. Meanwhile i started dating, he was aware of this but I wasnt totally upfront about it (meaning I didnt tell him 'im going out with x tonight) . At the end of last year i met someone new who is openly polyamarous. The chemistry was instant, and I was/am impressed by his ability to communicate openly and honestly and his ability to face at difficult issues head on.
I told my husband about this relationship early on, he is still having a lot of difficulty accepting it. Despite the fact that we have had no intimate relationship in almost 2 years he still sees it as cheating. I know he is hurting still, but i dont know what I can do help him with that. I really value my new relationship, i feel ive come out of the closet with my thoughts feelings and sexuality. I cant let that go.
What else can I do to help my husband.? I know im still hurting him, but i have to be true to myself.
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