We have some Cialis on the way! We will see if that helps. In "normal" play he doesn't have any issues, so I guess with will start with 1/4 or 1/2 and see if that helps.
Meanwhile.... New news:
I am exhausted from communication.
For the most part I have been the one guiding and encouraging the talking sessions. Neither are resistant and they both participate but we are not really getting anywhere meaty.
I went so far as to print out a bunch of pages from the xeromag site- mostly on how to treat the secondary. I have gone over safety; physical and otherwise, boundaries, needs, desires, all corners of the triangle, blah blah blah. You know, I just want to make sure that everyone is feeling respected and has their voice heard.
Most of what I get back from them are doe-eyed stares and words like; "I am fantastic" "this is great" "no need for rules at this time" "no need for definitions at this time". While looking over the print outs... "looks like we have #1 covered, and #2..." And so on and so on.
To hear them tell it, everything is perfect.
(Said with just a tad of disbelief).
A disbelief which I brought to the table and to which they BOTH responded by saying that they have a tendency to not verbalize until things are a BIG problem. Hence, "Things are great".
Oh dear. Really? The confirmed and almost militant L is fucking her best friends husband and the husband with Catholic guilt is fucking another woman and this is the first time either of them has been in a Tri and they don't have any issues to talk about? Really? Okay...
They both have such submissive energy at the moment! It kind of erks me and compels me to instigate a catharsis for them! But that is not my job. For now I am going to go with relationship advice that urges us to "believe what your partner tells you."
My meditation for the work week. 5 full days. Every day:
I am a servant to love. The source of love is endless. The source of love moves freely. I neither submit nor direct. I embody. I embody. I embody. I embody love. I emanate love.
Wish me luck.