Right. You can never go back to holding hands.
I hope that your new experiences are filled with so much rightness that the little wrongness at the beginning fades in the distance. That should be easy if you are now being treated with the kind of love and respect that works for you.
Your story mostly touches me because my partners could be, like you; stating that they felt forced into a situation with each other because of what I wanted. So, thank you for posting.
I am reminded to step outside of my expectations and to allow folks develop at their own pace. And to also clearly state my truth and desire without being coercive. Tricky.
(I am going to try to find some "time out" this week. SO much communication, I need some downtime to process- I am suddenly happy for the work week to begin)