I think the thing that bothers me the most about all of this is that this isn't what I would want for my daughter, a polyamorous relationship I mean. I think that she would feel ashamed or jealous and although I don't feel that way, I don't like to think that my own daughter would ever have to set her dignity aside. I would never ask my wife to give it up for another guy, plain and simple but then I'm not into guys so that wouldn't interest me sexually. The wife however is into women so maybe the situation is different in that regard. I guess what I mean to say is that I see where the father is coming from in his discomfort with the situation and although this was originally worked out between the g/f and the wife I think he's going to see me as the culprit and the cause of his discomfort. It would be hard not to I think as a man and a father see the large man as some sort of manipulator causing his daughter to enter into a romantic relationship with the large man and his wife.
This said I asked the g/f to explain the situation to him thoroughly and make sure there is no misunderstanding as to our arrangement. While he is here I have every intention of being respectful but at the same time I will do what is necessary to keep our dignity and integrity. Do I think polyamory is wrong? No. Do I think it is misinterpreted? Absolutely. People's morals and beliefs are largely due to nurturing and in this country that tells us that polyamory is wrong in most cases. Now keep in mind that my wife and I don't seek outside partners. Neither she nor I have been with anyone else until a few months ago for 6 1/2 years. This is all very new to us. We are very intimate and very close and we expect to bring the g/f into that intimacy with the agreement that there are no secrets, no betrayals. Now if that happens there will be a falling out that will be comparable to a domestic thermo-nuclear explosion but none of us foresee that as being an issue so I'm not concerned.
The father is someone that I'm not looking forward to dealing with but his wife (not the g/f's birth mother but has been dating her father for a year or so and is trusted) knows everything about our intentions and has been hinting at it to the father to sort of bring him slowly over to the idea but she has not outright told him and I think she was right not to. It wasn't really her place to do so.
So the plans have changed though and the g/f arrives tomorrow afternoon and although I'm excited there is this anxious foreshadowing that looms mysteriously in my mind. I have too much time to think. lol. She is coming with half of her things tomorrow and in a week or two her father and his g/f will arrive with the other half and that's when we will all be having the talk and they will be staying for dinner after everything is unloaded. Has anyone had 'this talk' with their in-laws? Anything anyone can suggest to lighten the load a bit and soften the mood before things are revealed? Any suggestions by those with experience would be very appreciated and those that have already been given are appreciated as well.