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Old 05-16-2010, 03:41 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by Lonely View Post
I never thought I would be okay with sharing my husband, then I took a job overseas. I realized that I wouldn't be upset if he slept with someone else while I was away because I'm not there. He isn't choosing someone over me, he would be substituting. I have a lot of confidence in my marriage, I know that there is more to it than sex, so I don't think sex should be able to ruin it. He was raised as a catholic and although he doesn't practice any organized religion, it seems as though the guilt over sexul freedom and expression stayed with him. I doubt if I could have a poly lifestyle if I were at home, but I just don't see a problem with it for the situation. I could really use some advice on how to open up about this to him, I brought it up briefly before and he assumed that I wanted to sleep around.

I see some good and some danger here.
Good that you have what seems like a healthy, balanced view of human sexuality. It's basic - not a big deal if kept in proper perspective.

Dangerous that you think it can be turned on and off like a switch. I.E - that you feel that when you come home from wherever, that any attractions that may have formed can just be discarded.

Now.........think about that a moment shall we ?

Not to mention that these possible lovers are human beings. They have feelings of their own too. How would you be if you were used as a sex toy - then tossed aside when not needed anymore ?

A solution to your proposed dilemma ? Legalized and sanctioned prostitution. But we all know that's not happening in most countries !

So think it over. Even if your hubby felt the need & desire to act on your suggestion, it's never that simple. And if traveling a lot is part of your life, you may just want to do some serious studying on polyamory. You may discover it's not as scary as it might seem at first. And you may be surprised where it could fit into your own life.

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