Well - this isn't atypical for some just starting out.
First - and maybe more important - he has some serious learning to do ! His behavior, regardless if it's understandable or not - is unacceptable. But I suspect he's blind with NRE, visions of sugarplums (FFM relationship), and acting like a 16 yr old. (Maybe he is?)
He needs to learn that when more than 2 people are in a relationship everyone has to take everyone else's feelings into consideration at the same time. That's why we always say it's not all fun & games - there's real WORK involved ! He needs to get to work.
As to the interaction between you and her...........
She may be homophobic, she may not have any physical attraction to you, various possibilities. That's perfectly ok. Just acknowledge that and let it be. There's a lot more to the relationship than the physical side. Start looking for things you two DO connect on (besides him if possible). Nurture those things and all will work out fine.
That's a start............