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Old 05-15-2010, 12:21 PM
capricorny capricorny is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sub-ultima Thule
Posts: 65
Default Important and useful, I think

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
yeah, very good point!
I actually thing that with a three people poly setup there are actually seven relationships that need to be given time - the three between each of the pairs (even if that is only friendship, there should usually be some sort of trust there and an ability to communicate), plus the dynamic of the three together (which may be very different from any of the pairs), and then the three relationships that the individuals need to have with themselves.

If you lose that last one (and that can happen often quite easily, especially if you are the "hinge" of a V relationship), then it can sometimes get to the point where you totally lose touch with yourself while devoting all your energies to be with your two partners.
Agreed! While this kind relationship enumeration may seem abstract to some, I think it is important and potentially very useful to consider all the relationships involved, and something I could do much more myself. In Vs, the dynamic of all three together is, in my experience, all to easy to ignore, as is the relationship between the two not intimately involved with each other. I also find that a bit of "mindfulness" in these respects tend to dampen potential space/time conflicts, and that is all for the good.
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