Sorry, guess I should have been more clear. He had not mentioned it to her yet. Only to the hosts of the party to make sure it was okay. It really wasn't something to be upset over, but I was.
In other news, the husband and I finaly read this thread together and had a long conversation about things. I am feeling a lot better about where things stand and why things happened in the first place.
LR- He says he totaly sympathizes with you. While he was only out for the sex, he does understand and agree with a lot of what you said about the ins and outs of being the other party. That really helped getting us talking. And helping him put feelings into words which is something he has never been good at.
I have high hopes for our future. I know it won't be easy. We both want to fix things but are staring at the toolbox with no idea which tool to use or how. That was his analogy and I really like it.
AK- he says he is fine with me having a b/f or a g/f, as long as they are treating me right. Though ultimately he wants his g/f and I to get back on better ground and see where that leads. I dunno if that will happen or not. I'm not against it, but not sure if I can look at her like that now. I feel really detached to that at the moment.
He says he never understood monogomy. He didn't see a point to it. He loves me and is committed and loyal to me, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be allowed to see what else is out there. His whole sex without emotional attachment thing. She wasn't supposed to happen, but she did. I asked if they broke up if he would go out looking for someone else and he says he doesn't think so, though he will still want sex with new people.
I can understand that, knowing him as well as I do. He likes the hunt. The thrill of flirting and getting to know someone. I am never going to be new. I understand that. And I also understand there are things I give him that he won't get from anyone else. He also says that at the times when things are good he has less urge to look elsewhere. So we'll see where that goes.
I think we are on the right path. No where near fixed, but a lot further ahead than I thought we would be a week into this.