Hi and welcome,
as I read your post, I can understand your frustration. And as you tell it, you tried to get involved offering her an massge and stuff, didnīt you?
I would try to talk to him again, seriously, and explain the problems You have. And maybe it could be helpful to talk to her alone as well, donīt You think? Just ask her for an evening you two can be alone and talk about things.
If the didnīt accepted this, I would think that maybe she doesnīt accept you as your partnerīs partner...
These are the first thoughts I have, hope they help you a little.
* Every new love enlarges the heart *