Originally Posted by Karelia
Has anyone been in a relationship that started off as a true triad, but changed to a vee?
Yes, I've been through this. Nobody was poly-fi, though, so I'm not sure that my experience is really equivalent enough to be reassuring that it can work (which it did, in our case).
Getting dumped is really unpleasant, and I imagine that your gf would like a lot of reassurance. Given that your husband has veto power, it might be hard for you to give that. I think that's the challenge for you; how to support someone through feeling rejected while admitting that there's some chance that you're going to do the same thing to them due to something totally outside of her control. So think about what the most kind, loving and yet honest thing you can say is and go with that.
It sounds like you know what you want, your husband is okay with it, so it really should be worth at least giving it a try.