Compersion....How to attain it....Hmmm...These are difficult things to ask. I (the husband) had it a LOOOONG time ago. Back when my wife and I thought we were swingers because we had my best friend in bed with us....every weekend. LOL The fact that my best friend and I hung out and did OTHER things together, was a bonus to me. The fact that my wife and him got along....WAS STELLAR....And the fact that they both liked to get together in bed...Well, all the better. So for me, it came naturally.
For my wife, though, it has not come as naturally. She still battles with jealousy from time to time. She has days where she feels that I will leave her if I find someone else who is "better" than her. I ask her what she means by that, and she says "thinner, smarter, better in bed, or something like that". I reassure her that it's not all about all of those things, but about the love I have. I tell her that I am not going anywhere as long as she'll have ME, not the other way around. She still gets nervous about it from time to time, but....after 20 years of marriage.....and after about 10 years of seeing other people, she is beginning to realize that I'm not going anywhere.....Unless she wants me to.
My wife and I spend almost every waking minute together....We own a business together, and therefore we work together....So we are litterally together almost 24 hrs a day. When we HAVE to spend time apart, it's difficult. We have become dependant on each other. LOL Weird I know. So the idea of "dating" someone else, is forign to us kinda. Yes, we've done it in the past.....But it's still forign....And Compersion...like I said, for me, it's easy. I'm SO pleased that she is having a good time, that I just smile, and my day goes by so easy....But for her, she worries about me leaving, from time to time. She eventually gets over it, and we are back on our happy high called life.