Well, at least I am glad that you have learned something about yourself and your relationship from this whole thing.
Sometimes, knowing what you can and can't have in your life (in other words, your "bottom line", or your non-negotiables) is a tough lesson to learn, but a very important one.
I wish you strength and clarity on your continuing road ahead, whatever form it may take, and thank you for coming and sharing at least this part of it with us.
And my wish for you is that, once this painful part is over, you will feel like you have grown as an individual through all of this.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb