I don't know if anyone is going to come back and read this or wonder what happened but just in case I am going to write this.
My triad is over. I simply cannot do this anymore. I finally realized and admitted to myself that I deserve to be happy and I cannot be happy with the way my relationships were.
Going against my own decision I inadvertantly issued an ultimatium to my husband. I told him that I was leaving and that I wanted a divorce. He stopped me from literally walking out the door. He said that nothing and no one else mattered to him like I do.
So now our girlfriend is moving out and we are going to start couples counseling to see if we can save our marriage. I feverently hope so.
This is not the end of our problems it is still just the beginning. We have a long and bumpy road ahead of us.
I have learned many things about myself, my husband and relationships during the last 9 months. I have met some great helpful people who sincerely care and tried to help.
Although m polyamorous relationship did not work and I have absolutely no desire to start another ever again, I have a new found respect and admiration for those who can practice it successfully.