Originally Posted by capricorny
As soon as there is one thing I should have known and I don't, the situation is radically different, in my view.
Exactly! So glad we agree on this. The list of things that you NEED to know from your partner(s) to feel open should be communicated with them in a very explicit way so they they understand what is expected of them. If that is not done, then it rapidly turns into assumptions, and a crap-shoot.