Originally Posted by Ariakas
Why?...symmetry doesn't apply to everyones poly. There are poly relationships that do work without symmetry...I think its a bit of a utopia to have that, it can happen, but doesn't always.
I still don't get what you mean by this. I think you are complicating it to much. You either love someone, or don't. (I may simply be misunderstanding your point)
I can have sex with someone and not love them
I can love someone and not have sex with them
I can have sex with someone and love someone
2 of the 3 are poly. Separating it into its tiny loving parts begins to separate those people that have the happy hippy feeling of poly, in loving everyone, or separates those swingers who have fallen in love with someone they have were just trying to have sex with.
"Symmetry" surely doesn't apply to everyones' everyday poly, and it should not (BDSM for example). But here we talk about foundations, and if we exclude it from the foundations, I think we head into dangerous territory.
What I mean, is that from the foundational principles we could not say Tonberry's husband is necessarily not poly. That was my point, and no hair-splitting. People who are sexually and emotionally monogamous, may well be poly by the principles. And people who really dont want to be poly, may find themselves struggling to avoid it.. your swingers fallen in love example
I wonder if we may have an example of "if you are not against me, you are with me" here.