The problem with being my size is that people can assume the ass is you and that you are being aggressive even when you're not. So I have insisted that every time I speak to her father either she or my wife is present. I don't want wild claims about what I've done or said to him to start. The problem with that is that I don't want the father to feel alienated or that the environment isn't casual at the same time. So I relax with him and let loose or I get uptight and censor every word. Not an easy choice.