Originally Posted by capricorny
To me, accepting your orientation makes your husband appear a lot less monogamous than he had been hadn't he accepted it. And while not questioning the sexual part at all, an approach along the lines of general exploration of the aspects of love might uncover, for example, that he is not that "mono" oriented in general, just emotionally and sexually. We have had this kind of dialogues at home, and they have been quite fruitful.
I don't believe it changes his monogamy to be accepting of poly or open relationships.
Relate this to religion and it kind of becomes absurd, am I less atheist (I am agnostic, just using this for arguments sake) if I can accept others peoples Christianity. To be a "good" atheist...do I need to vehemently deny everyone their choice?
I still think the foundation needs to be left somewhat vague, ideally,
love - check
ability to love multiple - check
trust/honesty - check
communication - check
my poly is not your poly - check
You can't have relationship status in there, you can't have any religious leanings, ritualistic love ins etc. Those are the pure basics. To add any other pieces to the foundation of poly, you begin to eliminate people. My poly is really not your poly...that could be the last foundation I suppose
Most of the other things listed here could be chapters on "how to", or "what to possibly expect" or "methods of dealing with"...but as a pure foundation. No.