Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
WOW..this is a brutal abuse of a human being. Essentially he is going to use her for his own gratifiaction and if they go past 6 months then she deserves to be made aware of the real situation. Does everyone have a six month probationary period before expecting honesty with him? I would be concerned about what he is not telling you
Sorry if this is blunt but I have a hard time hearing about people trying to wrap selfish behavior in a pretty package. I don't care how much they "love" the person they are using and don't want to lose them. I had secrets that could have destroyed my relationship with Redpepper but I told her very early because I love her. I didn't decide hide them until my needs were met...I guess that might be the question here. What are his needs and how are they met without honesty..sounds more like a need for sex rather than a need to share love.
I do appreciate your honestly and bluntness, this is what I've been trying to explain to him. But he says he chooses to conduct his affairs as he see fit, and he has told her she is casual and she doesn't ask anything else about the matter. (he basically told me under no uncertain terms that he doesn't want me to micro manage his relationships...)
I don't want anyone to get hurt in the long run, him, me or her for that matter. This is actually the first time he has explored another relationship within ours even though we've been open the whole time.
I feel like I can't even approach the subject anymore because I don't want to fight anymore.