I've begun refering to this as my safe blog. No one who is going to continue the drama in my life is going to see it. Kind of nice.
I'm pretty sure that due to all the stress and pushing school aside, I'm failing this semester. Trying to decide if going into class tonight is even worth it or if should just use the summer to concentrate on figuring my marriage out.
We had talked off and on about swinging and we both had some reservations about it.
My husband has asked over and over why I don't jump at the chance to sleep with other people. I don't know how to answer that. I've been tempted, but only a time or two, and I've never gone anywhere with it. I just shut all that off. I'm supposed to be committed to one person my entire life. That's how I was raised, so that's how it should be. Bringing a g/f or even just someone for the night, into our relationship is ok to me b/c we are both there and are sharing the experience. I don't honestly think that deep down I have a problem with him having a girlfriend, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong by saying it is okay.
I guess I need to differenciate between how I was raised and what I actually find to be right and wrong.