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Old 05-12-2010, 03:49 AM
texaschick texaschick is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 12
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Thanks for the replies. I've been really taking it slowly the past four or five months and trying not to make my secondary relationship more than what it is. I do love him, but in a different way than I love my husband.

We don't talk every day, we don't see each other but a few times a month. However, for me that is enough. I know we have a connection. Some day it might be more than it is now. For right now, I'm in an extremely happy place.

I learned not to pressure him (he's twice divorced and a little rebellious when it comes to relationships) because it only makes things awkward. I find accepting him as he is and not expecting him to be all wine, roses, and knight in shining armor makes it much easier.

The only really awkward angle since he and I have figured it out (my husband had it figured out from day one.. lucky him) is our mutual group of friends. It takes a lot of work on my part to hide it from them. He's pretty good at it, and sometimes it hurts my feelings how good he is at it. I think they would understand to some degree, but it would definitely bring down judgement from one or two people (perhaps even feelings of jealousy from one of my married female friends).

I don't know if this will be a permanent thing or not. I know our friendship will be. If we decided to end the sexual aspect of our friendship then I will cross that bridge when it comes. I know that some people's attitudes are that anyone who looks outside their marriage for something is not happy. That is definitely not the case here. He just fufills a different role in my life and enriches it. For right now I'm happy that I'm able to open my heart to more than one relationship without jeprodizing my wonderful marriage. Thanks again for welcoming me.
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