Originally Posted by EugenePoet
From one side I am poly: I feel no discomfort with my lover having other men and women to love. From the other side I am not so poly: I am uncomfortable with myself having other lovers. That may change if I meet the right woman, but it seems a remote possibility. So my boundaries are odd, uneven, and not yet very definite.
But as to principles?
- Be true to yourself: Don't force yourself (or let yourself be forced) to do things that hurt you psychologically, spiritually, or physically.
- Be true to your friends and lovers: Don't ask them to do things that hurt them in any of those ways.
We have a little difference in thinking. I'm in a non-monogamous relationship but I am not poly at all. Not a drop. I am monogamous but I do not have a monogamous relationship. The concept of having sex with multiple people (not at the same time though) is easy to consider because I have done this when I had an affair. The difference is one partner was intimately loved and the other was not. I just don't have the ability or the desire to "love" more than one person. There is no discomfort at all in this or sense of loss..just self awareness and certainty. I'm 100% comfortable in this aspect of myself.
I love those two principles!! They apply to all relationships and are clear and simple.