Yeah, I think cheating is lying because to me that form of ommission is lying. But I was referring to the fact that this whole situation has been one lie after another to cover his ass b/c he was so afraid I would leave. I almost divorced him 3yrs ago, he says he was covering up b/c he was so afraid I'd really do it this time. I gave him a freeby night, come clean about everything and I won't yell, won't leave you, we'll figure it all out. And he still lied. over and over and over. That is what I can't get over. Everytime he said I had the whole storey and the next day I'd find out something else.
LR- I think you are right, the world isn't set up for people to be truthful, and that just plain out sucks. I truly do want honesty. Had he been honest from the begining last july when all this started (for this round) maybe something could have been worked out to save all this pain. Not saying that honesty doesn't bring pain. It is hard to hear what you aren't prepared to hear, but honesty does make it a bit easier. Knowing that they respect you enough to be honest with you, means so much.
It's going to be a long road with some overgrown paths, probably even a few cliffs and mountains along the way, but we'll get through it. And we'll be stronger and better because of it.