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Old 05-11-2010, 11:56 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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Mohegan-

To take the other side of this conversation for a moment,

IF you knew for CERTAIN that him having sex with other women had NOTHING to do AT ALL with his love for you.

Would that change your feelings?


I ask this because I was "a serial cheater" in the sense that I had a long term affair with GG while married to Maca.
I didn't have anyone else-but when I say long term-I mean years.

I know FOR CERTAIN in myself-that my love for Maca never waivered.
In fact I WANTED to do what he said he needed me to do-which was to be true to him by not having sex with anyone but him.
I just couldn't do it. Now before the flamers come to get me-Yes I physcially did do it-and it resulted in years of deep depression, medications, therapy. Nothing helped.

The issue wasn't that I could not stop having sex. I can, I did. The issue was that I could not stop being me inside and so when I was "obeyed the rules" in my outside life-my inner-self suffered because I was denying my true self.

I could only do that for so long (couple years actually) before I broke down and went back to GG....

So-my curiosity-and like RP-I don't know your husband-so it's all congecture. But my curiosity is-if you knew that the REAL problem was that he didn't know how to be HIMSELF in this society-with the rules and strictures we have created as a society, and so he broke down and chose the role of a "cheat" because the only other option was SO not true to who he was internally-

would you be able to let go of your angst and fully accept that he loves you and wants to be with you, but simply can't be the man a monogomous society expects??
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