Redpepper- I think that sometimes confidence can lead to or can be percieved as cockiness. I am wondering if that is way I have such a hard time with criticism or a set back. I guess I think the only way I am confident in something is to be the best at the thing in my group of peers. I know that is scewed and I am trying to figure out how to seperate those feelings. In my relationship, I feel like anytime my husband looks to friends for advice or to help with a situation, without coming to me, that it is a blow to my confidence. That if I were better at this or more knowledgable at that he would come to me. I do find that to be ridiculous. I am not the master of the universe. I know I cannot be an all knowing entity. But that doesn't stop the feeling of being less than others.
I'm trying to figure out when I lost my ability to be proud of myself and happy with my accomplishments and still accept that there are things I am not good at.
I feel like if we ever do work with through this affair, I will always be comparing my time with him to her time with him. We are different people, with different things to offer, and this comparrision is not healthy for any of us. I know that. But I don't know how to change it. I don't know why it suddenly changed in the first place.